and the award ""best liar""goes to u

yOUR ArmS feeL LIke HOMe

Saturday, 30 October 2010

When I was young and before I actually get my life my aunts and mum's friends always said that "men love stupid women… so try to be one to please him" and like every thing we hear  i took it in my  so UN experience mind and with a thrill.
And as I grow I saw lot of girls just losing their own personality, their goal, their hobbies even their career and eventually their life and becoming just the shadow of him, the pale person, and the unspeakable mind.
Sadly is it? To lose half of our society just to please the other half!! If we really are sure that something please them after all!!
Do we really have to lose ourselves?
While I was watching the devil wears Prada and step ford wives for the million times I asked my self the same question
Do we always have to choose between your success in your career and your personal life? Do we always have to step forward no matter what? And what ever it takes? I have lot of ambition for my future and career isa  I actually wanna make a different in the world;) xD  I really wanna be something for several reasons
It's not that to prove that we can do it!!! We have proved that from million years ago and we are already doing it!! But still we face lot ofdifficulty in that issue!!
What men say to women when they wanna work!!
"your number one career in the world is to rise the children and take care of your home plus why do you want to" tbhdly nfsk" when you can stay at home like a princess"
It's too familiar to us to explain
Yeah its true if your work just give you hell then look for a better place but who said you will always gat what you want that easy !!?
We have to work hard sometimes to get to the right place.
"Our religion state that women should stay home and men get the money for living it's not right for you to work"
Completely wrong… our religion valuable the women in very single way we have to be comfort in our life because we have a very important role so as long as we are comfort and working with decent people then why not?
"El saeda Khatiga" had her own business and she had her own source of money.
Actually she married "el Rasol" (salah Allah 3leha w salm) from her business trading and it was okay for her to work!
"You will be busy all the time … I just want you to be mine"
So selfish!! You will be out of home most of the day
And we will stay home lonely waiting for you in a bad mood
And of course you will be stressed from working so I will hope that you will understand what I'm going through and you will do the same and none of us will ever be pleased!! WHAT A LIFE!!

I'm so lost and broken I wish I could lead my self again 

I think everybody deserve to find a place just for him self

A place where he can think and be isolated from the world

A place where I can watch the sunset and hear some soft music

Some where beyond the sea or above the sky among the stars

Or even a tree house, somewhere away away from everything away
 from the people away from the traffic away from the troubles
My perfect place would be something beside the sea

Where I can smell the salt of the sea and inhale it deeply until it 
reaches every inch in my body
And wake up on the sound of the waves … draw on the sand

I'm seriously thinking of traveling for a whole or even a day I just 
want to rethink about lots of thing and find my true self
Oh god if only I can find this place…!!

Don't you thinking we deserve this place?


we made them …we miss them … and sometimes we hate them but once it become a memory we aren't allowed to erase them we try our best by getting busy . Having new hobbies or knowing new people but they find their way back to our life and then hit you when you less expected it because Its there in your mind what ever you do when ever you go it’s the biggest part of your daily thinking … we may forget the details but we will never forget how it used to feel …how he used to make you laugh how she used to comfort you … how good having this person in your life … the feeling is always there waiting to go out by any kind of way …

Wednesday, 27 October 2010

It was's always midnight when he decided he can't take it anymore; he put on his coat and left home for a walk he didn’t know where to go but he opened the door and just walked away hoping he could leave his concern and fear behind.
The wind hit his face sturdy like continually waves it was wintry there, he tried to cover every inch of this body under this coat , the night was cruel just like how he feels lost , cold and undefined
he struggles to keep walking his way out even the trees were struggling with the wind to stand still, the moon was full leaving his light floating around smoothly like a song of sorrow for him … a tear run of his face couldn’t figure out is it because of the cold or because of the pain ?…the pain " Stop thinking like that " his mind told him " no I just can't take it anymore I was stupid I don’t even know how I did that she will never forgive me ..never " he found himself so near to her home fighting a monster inside his heart to stop right there and not going under her home shouting his throat out that he still in love with her and he is sorry " really sorry …maybe she will forgive me " " no not this time I hurt her so much I can't even forgive my self !!" then he thought maybe if he was lucky he will pass by her home and just see her shadow across the window " I miss her … I miss her smell … I miss her smile .. I can't think about her anymore she is gone and I better stay out of her life I have done enough" the memory of seeing her smiling again took over and he couldn’t resist but to smile " she was the love of my life and I pretended she was not .. How fool I'm!!? he closed his eyes hard putting all his pressure, a fail task to erase her from his mind then he sighted a long meaningful painful sigh its not working and never will I'm clueless how to unbreak heart again ! I just wanna fade away life is so hollow without her smelling like fresh flowers at the morning, laughing around like babies she was his shine , his warmness , his comfort and he let her go … a sold sharp feeling crossed him! He gasp for air although it was windy but he felt like there is no more air left for him to breath or essentially he doesn't want anymore oxygen inflowing his lungs ever again as long as she is not here besides him feeling his hand leaving him with that tenderness wonder of her and his sweet surrender! He lost her, He lost his lily pad!


One of my favorite on earth " the sea " 
my dream house with "the sound of the waves , salt smell of the sea, golden sand, warm rays, and blue sky" deeply inlove !!


She smiled warily and rolled her eyes within pushing her curls behind her ear and he was absolutely convince that
 there no such a beauty left in the world he didn’t see!

feeling like dump

oOoOoh god sometimes u just feel like there's some people in ur life just exists to make u feel like a complete
 idiot which  in the matter of the fact is not real realy today i lost my temper i cried at street just because i felt dump not that ordinary  feeling we all get sometimes no it's like ur life is standing on ur intelligence when all people expect from u good scores and achievements you feel like stressed and angry  and tonight i exploded 
in  front of people  just three word describes what i wanna say to one person  rabna ynt2m mnaaaak 

Friday, 22 October 2010

OoOooH glasses

i'm so exhausted i have exams next week too much studying
 and too much headache and this normal coz i should wear optics (what the hell) i don't like wearing optics i really don't i just can't accept that i should wear them since i was 12 years old  doctors said that i have to wear a glasses just to keep my  vision and  sight and maintain it but i didn't wear it and it was  my first eyeglasses after a year i went to the doctor  again because of the painful headache i had every time i concentrate and he told me that i should wear my glasses not to keep my vision like the first one  but to watch t'v and study with out having that damn headache and this was my second glasses and things went through like the first time i just can't wear them they bother me and tickle me :):) yeah they tickle me on my nose so after another year i actually missed the whole first row on the board that exists at the doctor clinic and couldn't see much things in the dark and that how i made my third glasses and at every stage in my life my sight get worse and that fact upsets me but what can i do really i just can't wear them they are like clowns noses to me :) and in the next few days i'm going to make a new one coz i need to concentrate in my studies i study longer hours nw so i really need it i think i'll try :) pray for me and i have kept all of my eye glasses they are beautiful but i just can't wear them and after long years i'll be an eyeglasses collector and i'll show them to my  grand childen :):) LOL 

Saturday, 16 October 2010

no mum i'm not complicated

ok in all my conversations  i start them with word ""ok""
the weired thing that people  don't realize it only me focus in my own actions in a very strange way most of my friENdz call me miss/complicated maybe i''m complicated yeah and i maybe not
 they say that sometimes i'm over reacting i don't know but i feel like i notice the tiny things i don't feel like they are tiny but my mum always says that i'm realy complicated she get surprised when i tell her   i start   that my finger nails are not like each other !!! or when i tell her that my nose looks different todAY
SO SOMETIMES I get convinced that i may be over reacting on things but no i know my self maybe i know i'm not complicated and the things that raise my attnetion are important things and are so clear so it's ur mistakes ppl i'm not over reacting :)

i realy get surprised   these days at how much  my mum thinks that my charizma and personalty are weired and strange and i don't know if that true or not or is that a good thing or bad 
but i think it's  a good thing 2 be different sure in a good way sure  but if i'm strange what are the things that make me like that 
 she says that chocolate can make a new   person of me and make my day turn upside down yeah what if i'm glad that chocolate makes me happier i think it's a good thing to find a (food) wich make me more comfortable and happy
she says that when i'm really upset an-ice cream cone will make my world happier :) so it';s a nice thing i'm glad that i'm addicted to ice-cream it's better  than addicting to something else ( el-admaaan ydoook el-abwaaab fi ay wakt :)
she says that i some times get scared from speaking my mind or my opinion just because i know every one shares the same opinion with me like  people who likes trance music and house nw every teenager hear house not because they like it it's just because every body does ppl are so like each other these days they are not letting  other persons be them selves coz nw in these days there's a regular look on teenger's life wich is facebook.....hate school....listening to house and trance music   tweeting  taking justin pepper or selena gomez their examples in life
there are teenagers  their personalties are just like that truly not fake but they are afraid to say this things because every one nw do such things so i'm afraid to say that i realy love coffe and how it smells coz very girls nw pretends  that they can't wake up till they drink their coffe maybe it's true maybe it's not but believe me there is so much pretending in teenager's life really this is the toughest stage of our lives i wish i could survive to the day i'll be a  grown up independent girl  so until that day comes i'll accept my mother's  words and opinions in me with an open mind and heart i'm not weired mum i'm teenager i know some of this habites will stuck with me for ever but don't worry not all of them :) 

Wednesday, 13 October 2010

i luv fairoz

The open wound she hides
She just keeps it bundled up
And never lets it show
She can't take much more of this
But she can't let it go
And that's ok, she don't want the world

All the things she says
While he's just lying there
Without someone to hear her cry
She slips off into a dream
About a place to hide
And that's ok, she don't want the world

This love she feels
Everything she's ever known
Or ever thought was real
Seems like it's been thrown away
Now how's she gonna live
It's ok, she don't want the world

Those words he never spoke
Haunt her life, the memories
Of all the times before
She tried to show him love
While he would only ask for more
But it's ok, she don't want the world

Softly in her sleep
Pictures of the life she's longing
For slowly appear
She's seen them all before
But somehow never quite this clear
She just smiles, she don't want the world

This love she feels
Everything she's ever known
Or ever thought was real
Seems like it's been thrown away
Now how's she gonna live
It's ok, she don't want the world

A brand new morning shines
As she wakes up alone again
This time to face the day
She swears there's time to make it
As she simply walks away
And it's ok, she don't want the world 

Monday, 11 October 2010

it's getting over me :(

I never really cared for details, And I never understood why other people would

. I believe that something just don't matter. I know it sounds silly, but this defines my existence. Intentions matter, nothing else does. It's easier to overlook the little things. It's easier to just look beyond what happened and see what people wanted to happen. It's easier to believe in what was said between the lines than to even read the linees 
my main and worest proplem with some people in my life  is the much caring for details ( yigo 3la el-haifa w ytsdro)and most of them think that i'm not responsible person (taisha and this absolutely wrong i'm far away from being (taisha...         i just love keeping every thing simple  i don't like problems and the most ppl i hate are the ones which their problems are too many 
my dad always care 4 details runing after perfection as he says but there's nothing is perfect in the whole world and we have to accept that and feel comfortable with it
2day hadeer ma friend just made a big issue from nothing i don't really stand that  like i said intentions only matters coz u can't read someone's brain easily except when this person is close to u and this is the case for hadeeer and me she is my best friend and that's why i expect from her  to know my intention well and doesn't not judge me for things i didn't mean she have to know that my intention was good and believes in that that's is the smallest thing i should expect from a girl which is from the closest persons      to me ....ever 
u my be right but this me i don't care for details i don't focus in any thing too            much i forget things it happens for god sake it's not a big deal 
And I am expected to use as many "excuse me"s and "sorry"s as possible.

Thursday, 7 October 2010

She defines love, care and warmth, the world looks up to
 er for tolerance and sacrifice, beauty starts and ends at her. She has the gift of creation.
She is a woman. 

When you look at her, there’s art. When you hear her, there’s music. When you touch her, there’s purity. When you make her smile, there’s sunshine. When you make her cry, it rains.

A woman is stern when it comes to her principles, soft when it comes to her loved ones. She is tender when it comes to kneeling down for prayer; strong when it comes to standing up for what she thinks is right. She is shy when you want to know how she feels, bold when you need to know. 

When she respects you, she would appreciate you, would fight for you. Everything about you would seem perfect to her. And if you do not live up to her expectations, she would be shattered.

When she cares for you, she thinks about you before anybody else. She would not settle for anything less than the best for you. 

And when she loves you, she respects you and cares for you. You are her world. 

And like all very very good things, even this post about God's most beautiful creation has to come to an end. But if it has to end, it would end at a very honest note..

"Whatever women do, they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult."

Sunday, 3 October 2010

This ill temper I have is making me mad
I blow up and I don’t know why
I wish for just a moment I could handle my anger right
I wish for just a moment I could love you right
I wish my attitude would just go away
I wish my anger would stay at bay
This outlook I have on life needs to change
This outlook I have you needs to say the same
I love you deep down inside
I wish you would see
That you’re the only prince for me
A gentle word like a spark of light,
Illuminates my soul
And as each sound goes deeper,
It's YOU that makes me whole

There is no corner, no dark place,
YOUR LOVE cannot fill
And if the world starts causing waves,
It's your devotion that makes them still

And yes you always speak to me,
In sweet honesty and truth
Your caring heart keeps out the rain,
YOUR LOVE, the ultimate roof

So thank you my Love for being there,
For supporting me, my life
I'll do the same for you


in the recent days i feel realy tired i don't sleep (el7) i
 don't go out  studying hours are so long and i even can't complain becouse the fact is this is what i should do (ana f shihada ya naaaaaaas) but realy it's gonig so over me i'm feeling so stressed 
some relaxition and a movie will be heaven to me 
oOoH I missed movies and lying down on MBC MAX with chocolate ice-cream this is the top of amusment that   
i wish to get

i wish maths just grow up and solve his own proplems !!! 
and   let us deal with our own ones

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